There was an old lady who lived in a pyramid

DAVEY DOOLITTLE, 'ANIMALS' b/w 'DANCING MALARIA' (New Wave, 1978)

When you are a no-selling, fringe figure on the margins of a major American new wave scene, you have three possible long-term career arcs (none of them dignified).

You can (A) attempt to ret-con yourself into the prime real-estate of the official histories through embarrassing reunion shows, catalogued citations of how many times you played with the Zippers and Pearl Harbor & The Explosions or (more often) over-taxation of the poor saps who bite into your bait and actually want your crummy 7'' at approximately the same rate Virgil might try and gouge you for an autographed photo (READ: $40 and up).

Alternately, you could always (B) tape your dick back and make sweet synthetic love to Patrick Cowley and find fame as both as a Hi-NRG dance pioneer as well as an early victim of GRID...I mean, AIDS...assuring a type of immortality amongst both drag queens and hanky code crackers.

Or (C), frustratingly most often, maintain a web presence making tantalizing mention of your unimportant musical past while focusing or rather fixating on the sort of tin-foil hat, U.N. black helicopter, politburo ponzi scheme babble usually confined to the waiting rooms of free clinics or flea market tables selling records.

And, if you're at all curious, one may take the most cursory of google stabs to quickly discover which flavor of filling flows inside our boy Davey. The one and only single by Mr. Doolittle - on NEW WAVE RECORDS in you case you hadn't heard! - shows definite sonicness kinship to the style of Larry Lazar, however, this is not so much the sound of the LONE ROCKER, but rather the LONE OFF HIS ROCKER!

'Three blind mice, man. Think about it. We're the animals, bro. See how they run. Just look at the sleeve...it's all there.'


Moving on...unsure just what nursey rhymes and malaria have to do with each other, but I'm sure Davey knew (a revelation which I'd just assume he keep to himself as the b-side is unlistenable Neil Diamond drivel with horns). Whatever the matter, it's clear that Double D, like Saint Vitus or Wesley Willis, was scarred by the heavy burden of possessing THE REAL TRUTH.

...access to which can be yours for only the most nominal of investments, guaranteed to triple your initial amount in less than six months. Let me show you some figures...

'ANIMALS'